Dispatches from the Poetry Wars would like to heartily congratulate Charles Bernstein on his prestigious Bollingen Prize Award.

Yes, you read that right: Congratulations, Charles!

Following the inevitable feelings of envy and jealousy, we got to thinking. While we wholeheartedly approve of poets getting free money, in the present set-up, with the proliferation of more and bigger cash awards, it seems like money generally goes to money. And that also got us thinking, so we decided to launch our own award program with no cash involved, one that pays homage not to seemingly philanthropic capitalists but to the conditions so many poets and writers have faced in order to write. To that end, we hereby announce the following Dispatches Poetry Awards:

The Lorine Niedecker Mop & Bucket Award

The Helene Johnson Consumer Reports Correspondent Award

The Charles Olson Substitute Letter Carrier Award

The Tillie Olsen Hotel Maid Award

The Vincent Ferrini Electrician’s Union Award

The Hisaye Yamamoto Beat Reporter and Mother of Five Award

The Steve Jonas Book Club Scam Award

The Jack Kerouac Baggage Handler Award

The Douglas Woolf Hot Dog Vendor Award

The Jack Spicer Loyalty Oath Award

The Albert Saijo Executive Order 9066 Award

The Ted Joans Rent-a-Beatnik Award

The Ed Dorn Logging Award

The Gregory Corso Dannemora Award

The Etheridge Knight Medical Technician Award

The Jayne Cortez Voter Registration Award

The Audre Lorde Librarian Award

The Diane di Prima Busted by the FBI—Twice—Award

The Lucia Berlin Emergency Room Worker Award

The Simon Ortiz Uranium Mill Award

The Gloria Anzaldua Pre-School & Special Ed Teacher Award

The Pedro Pietri Garment District & Light Infantry Award

The Lorenzo Thomas Platoon Leader Award

The Frances Chung Public Math School Teacher Award

The Gloria Naylor Telephone Operator Award

We also plan to announce a series of International Awards, led off by The Arthur Rimbaud Gun Runner Award, to be followed by the Roque Dalton Crime Beat Reporter Award…

Stay tuned for details!