There was a time when I was young
And surely marked for History.
In school I drank and had great fun,
Exploring ancient prosody.
My favs were taunting epigrams
And soon I came to imitate
A Roman bard on Instagram!
The more I wrote, the more I ate,
And as I ate, I also drank.
Which got me skunked on Match.com,
Along with rep of mean old skank,
Among the peeps of Charles and Ron.
The matter’s one of life or death:
The path of satire’s worse than meth.